Post by energythief on Apr 16, 2007 22:46:19 GMT -5
I'm originally an American, but moved to Canada some years back. One of the first letters I wrote home was to explain the differences between the U.S. and Canada to my bewildered relatives. Here it is, for fun:
"Hello from the Great White North!"
(or, "Bear wounded in skate-by shooting! MTV News up next...")
(Originally written on October 8, 2001)
I am writing to you from the land of Mounties, moose, and Molson, and since you're reading this, it means that I got here alive and well, albeit a little cold. (It's remarkable how fast a laptop runs when it's inside an igloo!)
Actually, it's hot here. Some days have been as hot as 30 degrees. (That's not another snow joke - it's only Celsius. Nobody panic!) The weather has been beautiful and the countryside is awesome and breathtaking.
In my short time here, I've already done a number of Canadian-type activities, such as taking a motorboat fishing on the Thompson River, gone to Family Day at a river-side park, roasted wieners and marshmallows over a midnight campfire, and picked apricots and apples from the family's backyard. I've also had conversations with complete strangers. Not bad for 10 days.
It occurred to me that most Americans (myself included) think that Canadians have eternal winter, live in igloos, trust their law-enforcement to men in red suits and black hats and bear and moose run rampant in the streets. That is, of course, not true at all. That is only true of the 9,000,000,000,000,000 square kilometers (140,000,024 cubits) to the north of Vancouver. The other 1% of the country (i.e., the 'populated portion') has the full range of seasons (spring, fall, and winter), has a sturdy modern law-enforcement agency in serious blue uniforms called the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police. I'm not kidding. But they aren't mounted to anything as far as I can tell.), and the bear and moose keep a wary, respectful distance. Also, Canadian beer is stronger than the States'.
So armed with my newfound perspective on Canadian life, I've prepared a helpful guide to 'What's Different?' between life in New York and life in British Columbia. It should be helpful if any of you plan to come up for a future visit:
In New York...
You may not turn right on red. (Well, in the City, that is.)
In British Columbia...
You can turn right on red AND left on red (if you're entering a one-way street).
In New York...
You have a 3-4-2 digit Social Security Number, and you've memorized it since EVERYTHING uses it.
In British Columbia...
You have a 3-3-3 digit Social Insurance Number, and you keep it on a card in your wallet since you very, very occasionally need to use it.
In New York...
You can legally get tanked at 21.
In British Columbia...
You can legally get hammered at 19.
In New York...
You probably never, ever think about Canada. American flags show up in very few logos or signs.
In British Columbia...
You are keenly aware of your proximity to the United States, and have developed a complex about it. Most businesses have designed logos that include a maple leaf or a red and white stripe, even such American mainstays as McDonalds and Sears have modified logos.
In New York...
There are American flags in schools, hospitals, government buildings, parks, and sports facilities. Patriotic citizens even display them on their front lawns.
In British Columbia...
There are Canadian flags in schools, hospitals, government buildings, sports facilities, restaurants, department stores, movie theaters, fast food restaurants, and gas stations. Strangely, almost no homes display the flag.
In New York...
The National Anthem begins with "O".
In British Columbia...
The National Anthem begins with "O".
In New York...
Baseball, football, and basketball are obsessive topics of conversation among sports fans. Most people are bored by hockey, dislike rugby, and hate soccer.
In British Columbia...
Hockey, soccer, and rugby are obsessive topics of conversation among sports fans. Most people are bored by football, dislike basketball, and hate baseball.
In New York...
'Yankees' are a powerful baseball team.
In British Columbia...
'Yankees' are a powerful anti-American epithet. (I thought I was in Georgia sometimes!)
In New York...
If you drive at 40 mph on a city street, you're way too fast.
In British Columbia...
If you drive at 40 kph on a city street, you're way too slow.
In New York...
One dollar is worth $1.50 Canadian.
In British Columbia...
One dollar is worth $0.66 US. (Well, it *used* to be. - et) It's also called the 'loonie'.
In New York...
You have to carry a wad of cash, credit cards, debit cards, and checks, since many establishments accept some or none of these as payment.
In British Columbia...
They have a system called 'Interac' which allows you to use your ATM card EVERYWHERE. (I swear to god, even at McDonalds drive-thru.) There's no service charge, and no fee per transaction. It's VERY cool.
In New York...
"Ain't" actually seems to be a word, and grunting passes for semi-intelligent conversation.
In British Columbia...
I heard a radio advertisement whose central joke relied on knowledge of grammar rules. I almost cried.
In New York...
People use pounds, not kilograms.
In British Columbia...
Ok, people use pounds here too. And feet and inches. But they're not SUPPOSED to!
As we can see, the differences between Americans and their Upper American neighbors to the north are vast, but relations constantly improve. Already, the younger generations are fed a steady diet of MTV, hip-hop, and illegal American satellite feeds. I can already foresee a future where I'll smile nostalgically as I dive behind my igloo to avoid the booby-trapped moose-bomb down the street. Ain't it beautiful?
-------------------------------
Thoughts? Comments? I have a few more of these things if anyone is interested in seeing them. ;D
"Hello from the Great White North!"
(or, "Bear wounded in skate-by shooting! MTV News up next...")
(Originally written on October 8, 2001)
I am writing to you from the land of Mounties, moose, and Molson, and since you're reading this, it means that I got here alive and well, albeit a little cold. (It's remarkable how fast a laptop runs when it's inside an igloo!)
Actually, it's hot here. Some days have been as hot as 30 degrees. (That's not another snow joke - it's only Celsius. Nobody panic!) The weather has been beautiful and the countryside is awesome and breathtaking.
In my short time here, I've already done a number of Canadian-type activities, such as taking a motorboat fishing on the Thompson River, gone to Family Day at a river-side park, roasted wieners and marshmallows over a midnight campfire, and picked apricots and apples from the family's backyard. I've also had conversations with complete strangers. Not bad for 10 days.
It occurred to me that most Americans (myself included) think that Canadians have eternal winter, live in igloos, trust their law-enforcement to men in red suits and black hats and bear and moose run rampant in the streets. That is, of course, not true at all. That is only true of the 9,000,000,000,000,000 square kilometers (140,000,024 cubits) to the north of Vancouver. The other 1% of the country (i.e., the 'populated portion') has the full range of seasons (spring, fall, and winter), has a sturdy modern law-enforcement agency in serious blue uniforms called the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police. I'm not kidding. But they aren't mounted to anything as far as I can tell.), and the bear and moose keep a wary, respectful distance. Also, Canadian beer is stronger than the States'.
So armed with my newfound perspective on Canadian life, I've prepared a helpful guide to 'What's Different?' between life in New York and life in British Columbia. It should be helpful if any of you plan to come up for a future visit:
In New York...
You may not turn right on red. (Well, in the City, that is.)
In British Columbia...
You can turn right on red AND left on red (if you're entering a one-way street).
In New York...
You have a 3-4-2 digit Social Security Number, and you've memorized it since EVERYTHING uses it.
In British Columbia...
You have a 3-3-3 digit Social Insurance Number, and you keep it on a card in your wallet since you very, very occasionally need to use it.
In New York...
You can legally get tanked at 21.
In British Columbia...
You can legally get hammered at 19.
In New York...
You probably never, ever think about Canada. American flags show up in very few logos or signs.
In British Columbia...
You are keenly aware of your proximity to the United States, and have developed a complex about it. Most businesses have designed logos that include a maple leaf or a red and white stripe, even such American mainstays as McDonalds and Sears have modified logos.
In New York...
There are American flags in schools, hospitals, government buildings, parks, and sports facilities. Patriotic citizens even display them on their front lawns.
In British Columbia...
There are Canadian flags in schools, hospitals, government buildings, sports facilities, restaurants, department stores, movie theaters, fast food restaurants, and gas stations. Strangely, almost no homes display the flag.
In New York...
The National Anthem begins with "O".
In British Columbia...
The National Anthem begins with "O".
In New York...
Baseball, football, and basketball are obsessive topics of conversation among sports fans. Most people are bored by hockey, dislike rugby, and hate soccer.
In British Columbia...
Hockey, soccer, and rugby are obsessive topics of conversation among sports fans. Most people are bored by football, dislike basketball, and hate baseball.
In New York...
'Yankees' are a powerful baseball team.
In British Columbia...
'Yankees' are a powerful anti-American epithet. (I thought I was in Georgia sometimes!)
In New York...
If you drive at 40 mph on a city street, you're way too fast.
In British Columbia...
If you drive at 40 kph on a city street, you're way too slow.
In New York...
One dollar is worth $1.50 Canadian.
In British Columbia...
One dollar is worth $0.66 US. (Well, it *used* to be. - et) It's also called the 'loonie'.
In New York...
You have to carry a wad of cash, credit cards, debit cards, and checks, since many establishments accept some or none of these as payment.
In British Columbia...
They have a system called 'Interac' which allows you to use your ATM card EVERYWHERE. (I swear to god, even at McDonalds drive-thru.) There's no service charge, and no fee per transaction. It's VERY cool.
In New York...
"Ain't" actually seems to be a word, and grunting passes for semi-intelligent conversation.
In British Columbia...
I heard a radio advertisement whose central joke relied on knowledge of grammar rules. I almost cried.
In New York...
People use pounds, not kilograms.
In British Columbia...
Ok, people use pounds here too. And feet and inches. But they're not SUPPOSED to!
As we can see, the differences between Americans and their Upper American neighbors to the north are vast, but relations constantly improve. Already, the younger generations are fed a steady diet of MTV, hip-hop, and illegal American satellite feeds. I can already foresee a future where I'll smile nostalgically as I dive behind my igloo to avoid the booby-trapped moose-bomb down the street. Ain't it beautiful?
-------------------------------
Thoughts? Comments? I have a few more of these things if anyone is interested in seeing them. ;D
